There was a time when I found myself looking back at past events in my life that would lead to thoughts of disappointment and regret. I would experience again the loss of confidence and feelings of rejection that had overwhelmed me at the time of the events. Perhaps this is just human nature. I suspect most people who have gone through a big disappointment have experienced similar feelings and found it difficult to “let go” and just move forward.
The interesting thing is that you don’t feel any better reliving those negative feelings. Even if there is someone who you could legitimately blame for your disappointment, or if you were passed over at a time in your career when you were worthy of a promotion, or you honestly could claim discrimination, you don’t feel better dwelling on those hurtful events.
It took time. It took quite a bit of time, but I eventually recognized that this behavior was not serving me well. There comes a point when you must basically pick yourself up, dust yourself off and decide that moving forward in life is what you must do. No more self-pity or blame. Those feelings must be replaced with self-confidence and determination.
An important element in moving forward is to set goals. When you are focused on exciting goals and are celebrating each accomplishment that moves you closer to achieving the goals, you will no longer be drawn to review the past.
Are you stuck looking in the rear-view mirror of your life? If all you are seeing is what has happened in the past, you will have difficulty looking to the future and seeing the opportunities that lie before you. I encourage you to set some goals that will get you excited and will fill your life with successes and achievement. Once you are on a new path, you can break off the rear-view mirror and focus on your new triumphs through the window ahead of you.
